How Paul Stanley Got Over His Issues With Gene Simmons Is Actually Good Advice for Us All
Though they may have been in a band together coming up on 50 years, Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons aren't always in rhythm with each other on a personal level. But during the recent KISS Kruise, Stanley opened up to the audience about his relationship with Simmons and how he's found his way to accept the things about his cohort that used to drive him crazy, and it's a good piece of advice that we could all apply to our own lives.
"We're very different, but we certainly share a pride in what we do, a work ethic. Maybe because our parents came from Europe where I think that that's important stuff, is that pride in the work you do and to work hard for your money," started Stanley (as transcribed by Blabbermouth). "Other than that, I think one of the things that took me a long time to learn — and I think Gene, by the way… I mean, he's family to me; he's a brother. I remember there were things about him that used to drive me crazy."
Speaking to how he dealt with some of the issues he felt toward Simmons, Stanley continued, "I realized that that's not his issue; that's my issue. When people do things and it bothers you, you need to figure out why it bothers you, not expect them to change. It's not about them. And things that used to bother me about Gene, I just had to kind of figure out, 'Wait a minute. That's my issue that bothers me. And why does it bother me?' Because he can only be the best he that he can be; he's never gonna be me, and I'm never gonna be him. So it's just a matter of putting a lot of that stuff aside. We're not gonna change anybody else, so we need to figure out why it bothers us."
Simmons reiterated some of those same sentiments in a 2017 interview with Goldmine Magazine, explaining of his relationship with Stanley, "You have to figure out that the person next to you isn’t you. So sometimes you don’t understand why I might have a different appetite than him," referring to his desire to act, produce records and make films. But he later added of Stanley, "We do have a better relationship today because you live and you learn."
He would later go on to comment on their shared work ethic, explaining, "You understand that despite it all we both share a great work ethic, we show up on time and do the work and we never 'Axl Rose' our way out of anything. I think the same way a 'Kardashian' became a 72-day long time reference, I think Axl deserves that thing that could become a verb, 'Don’t Axl your way out of this thing.' I think that’s appropriate."