12 Metal Songs That Sound Like You Need to Call a Plumber
Goregrind is a very particular subsect of metal and represents a litany of extremes. For reasons unexplained, the subgenre is as renowned for pinging blast beats and pitchshifted gurgling as it is for hilarious absurdities and overt toilet humor. We’ll even argue that a lot of it sounds like you need to call a plumber.
Regarding the bands you’re about to hear, just about all of their songs sound like genuine bowel-busters, so if any of them dealt in scatalogical subject matter, they were deemed preferential in order to best serve you, our dear readers.
READ MORE: NSFW: The 20 Most Disgusting Band Names
Bust out the Yellow Pages (or just Google “plumber near me”) and reach for that phone — here’s 10 Metal Songs That Sound Like You Need to Call a Plumber.
"Colonic Agapement"
by The Men's ToiletWhere are they from? International: Los Angeles, Calif. + Ichikawa, Japan
When did they form? Unknown. First demo released in 2017.
Can you say Eurinal Eulogies of Eurethral Eurexcrementia five times fast? It won’t take you much longer to listen to this 10-track demo either — it’s only 11-and-a-half minutes long, which is just long enough for your legs to start going numb after your “Colonic Agapement.”
"Septic Expulsions of a Collapsed Cavity"
by Miasmatic NecrosisWhere are they from? U.S.
When did they form? Unknown
A blood red bright spot amid a dismal 2020, Apex Profane, the debut by the new four-piece Miasmatic Necrosis (featuring Maryland Death Fest co-founder Evan Harting), boasts the sloshing panache goregrind has embraced so well in its 30 years of existence, played with a renewed sense of dance-worthy, downtuned dignity. Septic expulsions are just part of the fun, unless it’s your job to clean it all up.
"Deranged Epidemic"
by DisgorgeWhere are they from? San Diego, Calif.
When did they form? 1992
Hold on to your toilet lids, y’all, there’s some turbulence ahead. California’s Disgorge (there’s a Disgorge from Mexico, too, you should check out) were among the early purveyors of the brutal death metal/slam style, which helped popularize the ultra-low guttural. Matti Way, who appeared on the band’s first pair of albums, both released in 1999, opens the Cranial Impalement record with a spotlight gurgle on album opener “Deranged Epidemic” and it’s so seriously wet. This is the sound you hear before the septic tank reverses course.
"Skull of Shit and Sludge"
by RegurgitateWhere are they from? Stockholm/Mjölby, Sweden
When did they form? 1990 (split up in 2009)
You will never see another album cover as bold as Regurgitate’s Carnivorous Erection. Go ahead, we dare you to buy a T-shirt of this. Now, you may be asking why we didn’t elect to go with “Fecal Freak” over “Skull of Shit and Sludge” here. Well, being predictable would be boring, wouldn’t it?
"All Pants Know"
by Bathtub ShitterWhere are they from? Osaka, Japan
When did they form? 1996
Without pitchshifted vocals, it’s tough to argue this song from Japanese grind maniacs Bathtub Shitter sounds as problematic as other songs here when it comes to emergency plumbing. But the band name says it all and, hell, we’re not ones to pass up the opportunity to: 1. Mention the name Bathtub Shitter and 2. Have an honest laugh at the title “All Pants Know.”
"Carnivorous Nausea"
by Last Days of HumanityWhere are they from? Noord-Brabant, Netherlands
When did they form? 1999
You know those times when the toilet fights back? Neither do we, but the first five seconds of this track from Last Days of Humanity’s comically fast Putrefaction in Progress will give your imagination some time off. You can’t convince us they didn’t stick a microphone in a toilet bowl when recording this.
"Dumped"
by FluidsWhere are they from? Phoenix, Ariz.
When did they form? 2018
Okay, so “Dumped” isn’t referring to what you’re thinking about. It’s more about bodily disposal for Fluids, who are big fans of single-word titles — others include “Chunked,” “Hauled,” “Chopped,” ...you get the idea. Their churning, Mortician-esque death metal comes off, for our purposes here, as a mighty tug of war between plunger and plumbing. Spoiler alert: no one wins (unless you stick around for the whole song where a bit of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” creeps into the background and, later, “Funkytown”).
"Into the Deceased"
by PissgraveWhere are they from? Philadelphia, Penn.
When did they form? 2013
You know how in the movie Gremlins you aren’t supposed to feed the little monsters after midnight? Imagine that same harrowing scenario, except it applies to the commode. If you do, it will sound something like this Pissgrave song off their nightmarish 2019 record, Posthumous Humiliation
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"Lingua"
by Sublime Cadaveric DecompositionWhere are they from? Paris, France
When did they form? 1996
”Lingua,” with its call-and-response vocal tandem, is the sound of two people trapped in a studio apartment as the water level emanating from the bathroom continues to rise. There’s a lesson here about why you should never wear socks with sandals.
"Horrible Hangover"
by RompepropWhere are they from? Eindhoven, Netherlands
When did they form? 1999
With riffs as chunky as the audio samples of vomit that appear early on in “Horrible Hangover,” Rompeprop slug it out for 2-and-a-half minutes with a bit of a “both ends” nightmare scenario once the double kicks hit toward the end.
"Enema Bulldozer"
by Cock and Ball TortureWhere are they from? Germany
When did they form? 1997
As full grown adults (notice how we didn’t say “mature”), Cock and Ball Torture are still playing with trucks in the sandbox, at least when it comes to the Sadochismo jam “Enema Bulldozer.” The band has notably foregone lyrics in the past, favoring defined vocal cadences and pitchshifted gurgling. So, at least the lyrics can’t be blamed for corrupting the youth.
"Botched Gastrohorizontology Resulting in Lumbering Intestinous Hemorrhaging”
by ParfumerieWhere are they from? Winnipeg, Manitoba (Canada)
When did they form? Unknown
This group only released one demo in 2014, and, truthfully, this is the one song on this list that is a product of the YouTube goregrind wormhole that was inevitable when our work began (yes, this is work). Imagine every toilet in your house, apartment — whatever — backing up at the same time as if they were lawn sprinklers operating on a timer. It sounds as if Parfumerie did.